Showing up. It’s what we are talking about for Real Talk Tuesday. I’ll be honest with you, this is hard. Showing up is hard. Leaning in is hard. This whole perseverance business is no joke. It demands we show up even when we are beat down, ragged, worn out, and just about to give up.
I’m learning that one more step in front of the other is often all I can manage. Life isn’t asking me to make big leaps. It’s just asking for the next step. I think this is what makes showing up possible. We push a little more. We stretch a muscle we didn’t know we had. We cast off unneeded weights and find our wings weren’t nearly has crushed as we once believed.
Showing up isn’t as horrible or embarrassing as I thought it could be. It has meant taking things one moment and one breath at a time. It has meant living in the right-now moments even when they are uncomfortable. It has meant relying on God and community. And yet in the showing up, I’m finding a grace that moves me – compels me to forge ahead. It often defies explanation.
Is this some superpower I’ve learned to manifest? Is my secret, inner Wonder Woman working it out and making me stronger, lassoing life to the ground? Is my can-do attitude telling life who’s boss? Surely it’s because I’m punching fear in the face and taking no bull!
Honestly, I don’t think so. This grace isn’t something I can or have been able to muster on my own. It doesn’t belong to me, and yet I continue to find favor. It’s a favor that allows me to keep moving forward even when I have no desire to. Grace comes and bolsters my soul. Grace gently nudges me to try again. Grace whispers, “you can do this even though it’s hard right now.”
I can tell you 2015 was a hard year for many reasons, but I kept showing up. It was pretty rough for a few months. There was no map to get out of the season of that year. There was only the wake up, do your thing, self care, and living life with all it’s topsy turvy. There were scares and hurts and upsets and losses. Still, I kept showing up.
In 2016 I’m choosing to do the same – to show up, be seen, speak up, and be heard. I don’t have all the answers and I often wish that I did. That’s not how life works though, so one foot in front of the other is how I’m showing up.
It might be messy, but I’m here – in the ring – and doing the best I can. Maybe that’s more than enough for this right-now moment. Because really, I’m counting on the goodness of God as I walk this earth. I’m relying on Him to be strength and give me strength to make it day by day. This is enough. He is enough. One thing I know, I am not alone in this showing up. HE is with me every step of the way. So, I will keep showing up.
Tell me friends, how have you been showing up?