So I’m writing a book, a second memoir of sorts. It’s been an interesting process and also emotionally exhausting. I’ve rediscovered and also uncovered new things about life, faith, and pressing in to life. None of the writing has been easy, but I think it has been worth it to dig in to the whole truth hidden behind doors. Of course, writing memoir can take a lot of a person. Be gentle with yourself. Sometimes you come to the page blank. Words won’t come. You’re staring at a blank screen. Nothing is making sense. I had that moment the other day.
Sure I could have quit, closed shop, threw in the towel, or give n up. But, I didn’t. Instead I chose to step away from the writing. I chose to be gentle with myself. In my writing process, I often find reprieve by walking; so I went for a walk. My heart and mind needed to declutter. Be gentle with yourself. Down a hill and up another, gaining speed, I walked. When I got near the end of my walk I realized there was another kind of writing I had neglected. Songwriting.
The memory of who I am and what I am meant to do rose up again, calling me to return. I trudged up the final hill home, blinking back tears because I knew these words holding tension in my heart were true. Be gentle with yourself. I got home and did not return to the book. Instead, I took out my guitar, tuned the strings, and began to play. Here is the result of that time well spent: the first lines of a song (I haven’t written one in over 5 months, and that’s too long for me).
I haven’t stepped here for so long
In the quiet place
Filling space and time with busyness
I’m out of grace
Still you are here
Still you are calling
Hush now be still
You whisper all my fears away
Here in the sacred place
Beloved, what is He calling you to remember? How has He been whispering to you? Has He been calling you home to “be”-ing and not doing? Remember whose you are. Remember the grace given you. Remember:
Be gentle with yourself. For me that gentleness comes from the stillness of moments where I can ponder God and His presence. What does it look like for you? Whatever you’re bulldozing through, where do you need to pause or change course.
I leave you with this:: Be gentle with yourself.
You can listen to a rough cut of the song on Soundcloud.