I look to my present and long for the past. I see the blurry edges of future and wonder if I’ll really get to where I want to be. I’m holding out for hope that change will come in and through me, but it requires me to visit some hurts, habits, and hangups. Much as I don’t want to, I know it is the work of visitation that I must do, and so I choose it.
The past is nothing to fear, and it is also something that should not chain me from forwared movement in my present. If anything the past, informs me, teaches me, warns me, and makes me wiser. It reminds me of where I’ve been and where I can go. I do not have to stay stuck. I can meet with success. There is no fear in looking back. Taking a trip down memory lane can actually empower and equip me as I endeavor to new and wonderful things. This is not Pollyanna. This is truth. This is me fighting back with faith and hope because I refuse to let fear and darkness win over me.
The more I make space to visit those places of lack, the more I find myself reengaging from a place of strength. I survey the land of my life, the barrenness, the brokenness, the pitiful drooping trees of my life, the receding waters of my soul, and I take in a deep breath. “I will live and not die and declare the goodness of my God” over my life. So I speak faith over the wreckage. All is redeemed. My past is made beautiful. I rise and see once dead things brought to full, abundant life again.
Find me here now, ready to forge ahead with a boldness that was always waiting for me. I can do impossible things because I am possible. This work I desire to do is possible. My hurts, habits, and hang ups no longer own me as I learn to own the truth, allow it to be refined in God’s fire, and find I have what I need to thrive. So I look again to my present and say, “I’m here. Let’s live.” I see the clarity of my future and believe, it can and will be done. I will hold on to hope for I have visited my once desolate places and have found a sacred redemption to propel me forward. This is grace, and I am ready for it.