I like slow. Slow is good. Easing into things with a certain amount of caution and prediction is how I normally operate. I like to have a plan and stretch it out as far as I can. I also like to have some contingencies in case things don’t work out the way I think they might. Unfortunately, even the best made plans can go awry. As 2016 progresses, I am learning to bend with the curve of life, and my are there are lot of unforeseen curves.
I kind of like to know what’s coming around the bend, to be ready and on guard. The notion of being able to see what’s coming up, gives me a sense of control. Over what? I have no idea because life doesn’t really work that way I think it should work. More to the point, a life of faith doesn’t depend on risk planning or risk aversion. A life of faith isn’t built on knowing what to expect. A life of faith isn’t made on foreseeing the future and being able to avoid the pitfalls. Faith has it’s own way of moving us to action. It has a way of causing us to maintain hope even when we cannot see the outcome.
I’ll be real with you. This is hard for me on even my best days. Does this make me faithless? No. Does it make me doubtful? Maybe. Does it make me wonder what God is up to? For sure! The not knowing can be overwhelming. The not being able to see what’s coming can be rather unnerving, even immobilizing. I don’t think God meant of me to live with this kind of uncertainty, but He does want me to trust Him. So there it is – trust. That unseen thing you have to do by choice even when you cannot control the outcome. This is a challenge; and yet it is also the thing that can drive faith.
As much as I like slow and easing into things, these last few weeks of caused me to see faith as constant movement. You have to roll with it and move in sync with its unpredictability. Faith makes us move. I don’t like a lot of movement especially all at once. Excessive movement makes me want to retreat for cover, protection, and reprieve. It makes me question if it’s safe to be in the fray where all the action is happening. Maybe that’s fearful living. Maybe it’s lack of trust. Maybe, maybe, maybe. But faith is demanding I move. It’s inviting me to catch its rhythm and move in tandem with it.
Here’s what I know for sure. God can be trusted. He wants me to trust Him. He also wants me to walk by faith and not sight. And for sure He desires me to live a life of faith, not fear. His promise has always been and always will be “I am with you.” So even when things are looking messy, disjointed, or out of whack, I can trust God to lead me through it all. It’s okay for me to express my concerns, doubts, and misgivings to Him. He doesn’t hold that against me. He just wants me to keep walking forward in faith. Faith makes me move. In the movement, as I go, God is at work causing me to be able to do what I think I cannot do. This is miraculous and divine work, but I have to move with Him, in the process. Stagnancy never brings about growth.
I’m saying yes to showing up to faith. I’m saying yes to not knowing the outcome. I’m saying yes to fulfilling the vision placed in my heart even though I cannot see how it will all play out. I’m saying yes to movement; for the movement is faith in action – faith being engaged, activated, and practiced. Who knows? The more I do this, the stronger and less fearful I’ll become and the more adept I’ll be at quicker movement to see life through. For something in the movement speaks of constancy and life, hope and fruitfulness, and the realization of purpose and calling.
I am ready to move.